i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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