Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
