capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
