I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
