I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
