They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
