he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
