Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
