he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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