omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
