Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Someone came in the potted fern
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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