hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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