I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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