there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he fucked my hip out of place.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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