Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
