I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
