idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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