we're blogging at a bar
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
