At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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