omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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