your parents love me but you hate me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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