Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
