she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
