We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize