You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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