Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Houston, we have a blender
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize