I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
