Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
