i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
