She's JV to your varsity
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
