Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
