This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
