It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
