We got so high we made milksteak
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize