I think I died a long time ago.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
