Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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