Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
