I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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