ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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