Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
