the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
