new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
