This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
