Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.

Fav 11 829 1383
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.

Fav 20 1734 3158
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(501): View more from Arkansas

I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay

(602): View more from Arizona

I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"

Fav 20 4478 1197
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(803): View more from South Carolina

so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.

Fav 6 4281 1081
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(315): View more from New York

im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor

Fav 15 5858 1193
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(319): View more from Iowa

You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.

Fav 6 3144 1200
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...

Fav 13 3161 1522
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(541): View more from Oregon

Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling

Fav 0 236 102
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(714): View more from California

after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit

Fav 0 78 3
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