also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
