I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
