Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
