you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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