it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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