I think im going to throw up on grandma
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
