You're my little dorito
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
