i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
