I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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