It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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