I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
