Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize