am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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