I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
