Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
