I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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