Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
