): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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