Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
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he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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