Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think your dad took our porno
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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