If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
