dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
