She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
