he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
