how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
