she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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