Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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