she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize