We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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