he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
